Text re-drafting

Initially I had the idea of using 'bricolage'; to use text from other sources to enhance my script and to create the sense that Moira is a collection of experiences, unsure of her own identity.

The line

'I thought you’d gone forever. Never mind. You’re here. You see, the thing is, my train is arriving soon, and I really have to go,'

is a rehash of

'I'm glad to see you back. I thought you were gone forever,'

from Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett. However, as I continue to work on the construction of Railway I don't like using text to tell about her frustration (I was planning to deliver the above line with movement which contradicts what she's saying, by not making an effort to get ready to go, and then at the end not leaving at all). Now I would rather keep the text simple and show her intentions in movement.

I was also sure that I wanted to directly address the audience in my text, however, after working with it I've found it feels contrived and unnatural. For example, the line:

'I guess you're wondering where I've come from, or where I'm going.'

which has now been cut.

However, so far I am pleased with the rest of the text and it is working well. Feedback was particularly positive for the 'Let's imagine for a moment that this is my home' section. I'm finding putting together movement for these end sections much easier and it feels more natural.